Raqs Nerd: growing in spirals 🌱

It's almost a cliche at this point, to say that the most advanced dancers - the dancers with the deepest, most emobodied practice - are those who never stop practicing the basics, and approaching "beginner" technique with fresh curiosity.

I've believed this for many years, and I do my best to train in this way as well as passing the wisdom on to my students...

But a recent experience from outside of dance has given me some new insights on how this process works

Since way back in 2021, I have been an enthusiastic convert to the joys of kettlebell training.

It started as a lockdown project (as so many things did), inspired by taking online bellydance classes with Kim Bech / Khalida, who used some kettlebell-inspired drills in her conditioning routine.

But when I get interested in something, I go all in (that's why I'm here writing this...!). So before long, I was poring over training manuals, and buying my very own lumps of cast iron. And I was doggedly determined that I was going to get strong!

The first few months were really difficult. I literally couldn't hold a little 8kg kettlebell above my head, because my wrists were too weak. But I persisted - because using my body in this way felt really satisfying somehow, and I knew on some level it was what I needed.

I also really liked the training plan I was using, which required the exact same two full-body exercises, every day, ideally 5-6 days a week - very gradually adding progressively heavier weights.

This might sound unbearably boring. But for me, I actually absolutely loved the routine and repetition and the fact I didn't have to worry at all about what to do when I trained - and also, the ability to become intimately familiar with all the subtle details of my chosen exercises. How exactly my spine, ribs and hips are aligned; how my breath matches the movement; the complex dance of bones and muscles in the shoulder girdle with every arm movement...

And I am literally still doing the exact same exercises several days a week, five years later (the kettlebell swing, and turkish get-up). I'm still not bored. Over time, I went from failing to lift 8kg, to easily getting up from the floor with 20kg held above my head in one hand - and my shoulders felt amazing, my arms flowed so much more freely in my dancing, it was an all round win!

However, I have had some setbacks in that time. Moving house, changing careers, and putting on major events, can all play havoc with a daily strength training habit

Earlier on, when I hit these rough patches and wasn't able to consistently train for a few weeks or months, it really upset me. I would beat myself up, and then try to go back to training with the same weights as before, because I was so upset by the thought of losing my hard-won progress.

And my reward for that would be struggle, soreness, and discouragement. And becoming gradually less regular and consistent in my training as I started to associate it with feeling weak, rather than strong - because I refused to be "less advanced" again.

But more recently, I have made the choice to be more gentle with myself. After not training at all for several months due to a combination of travel and work, I realised I now had two choices: give up completely, or, go back to being a beginner. There was simply no way I could expect to train at full intensity with a 20kg kettlebell after that long a break, or even 16kg, and not end up hurting myself or being horribly sore for a week.

And I chose being a beginner.

I swallowed my pride, and went back to the same weights I'd started out with in 2021. Back to square one, all progress lost, but determined to build a really solid practice habit again from scratch, and stick to it this time.

Except, it wasn't lost - of course.

My body and nervous sytem in 2026 aren't the same as in 2021. Yes, I had lost some strength recently, in terms of sheer force - but I now carry years of muscle memory, and neural pathways, that I didn't have before. And a lot of the strength I originally gained through training, has stayed with me because I now use it in my dance, and in my daily life.

Square one wasn't square one any more. It was like starting a new, higher level of the same game.

And since restarting my kettlebell training at "beginner" level I have been enjoying my strength practice again, as I did in the beginning - this time through, experiencing the movements with all those new layers of awareness and skill, and gradually rebuilding my strength again on a much stronger foundation than before, with better technique than before.

I am seeing this process as a spiral - or a helix, a spiral staircase (inspired somewhat by the writings of Marta Rose, of the Spiral Lab). Coming full circle doesn't ever bring you back to where you started, because you aren't who you were when you started. Training, and learning, and exploring, is never wasted.

Likewise, returning to spend time with our most basic bellydance movements, or practicing improvisation exercises or visualisations we learned as beginners, isn't ever going back to square one. It is coming around and up, to the next level of the spiral staircase.

Even if it's something you feel like you've forgotten how to do - even if you're kicking yourself for not practicing and having to go back to the start.

When we train in the basics or take a beginner level class as more experienced dancers, we bring a wealth of new skills, awareness, and depth - where as beginners, we were just desperately trying to get our hips to move and to somehow keep breathing at the same time.

Again - your practice, your training, your focus and attention, is never wasted. Even when you feel like it was. Even when it doesn't take you in any kind of a straight line. We circle around, and each time, we reach a new place in our spiral.

With Love,

PS - we're just two weeks away from the Turkish Weekend with Tevec! Join us virtually for her "history of bellydance in Istanbul" talk on Zoom, or come in person and choose from a whole wonderful weekend of Turkish dance workshops in Manchester UK :)

PPS - every part of this newsletter is written by me, a flesh and blood human being, using my own thoughts, feelings, opinions, and writing style - now and always. This is a generative AI free zone 🚫🤖

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